I have seen my share of bad relationships
only to leave me to wondered
if I will ever see a good one,
For years my soul has
gone with out acceptance
for who I am,
My heart has been played ,
My soul unnoticed ,
My love crushed ,
Does my heart want the impossible ?
Will my soul ever know how true love feels?
Will I ever no the one that can love me and all my faults?
Why is this so hard to find?
I have my heart open
with the arms of my soul waiting
for the man of my dreams
to take me in his arms
to whisper in my ear I'm here
and my arms will never let you fear
that my love will never disappear.
Why is this too much to ask ?

∂σηт gσ...

All alone
Teardrops falling
No one to turn to
No one who cares
So afraid
Darkness creeping in
Falling Backwards
Always running
Happiness comes
Bright smiles
All stolen away
What to do
Lost and alone
People hurting
Blind eyes
Deaf ears turned
Alone in tears
Sorrow trapped inside
Fake smiles
Life is just pretend
Dark storm clouds
Thunder crashing
Anger building
To heavy a load
Love is found
Walks away
Tears spilt
Faith lost
All hope is gone
All trust is lost
All faith is missing
All love is a lie
Life on earth
An open book
Rainy days wash away happiness
Is there ever a happy ending...

ι ωαηт....

I want someone who will open my doors for me. Whether it be a car door or a restaurant door I don't care.
I want a gentleman yet I don't want them to be afraid to be themselves around me.
I want to be able to belch in front of him and he not be disgusted.
I want to be able to be myself and laugh my loudest and cry my hardest.
I want someone to dry my tears for me and be worried about what may be going on.
I want you to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Even if It won't.
I don't care if you are ripped or fifty pounds over weight, be self confident, because when you are self confident it makes me feel proud no matter what.
I want someone who is willing to admit that they lost and I won at card games.
I want someone who is willing to let me win but still be a challenge when I want one.
I want someone to understand I want to wait.
I want someone who will smile when they see me coming toward them.
I want someone who will not be afraid to wrap his arms around me near his friends.
I want someone who will be worried when I am angry at them.
I want someone who won't forget my birthday and valentines day.
I want someone who wouldn't be afraid to call me, no matter how much my family harasses them.
I want someone who knows when to hold their tongue.
I want someone who is willing to stop drinking or smoking because of me.
I want someone who will want me.
I want someone who is going to take care of me when I am sick.
I want someone who wont freak when they see me start to cry.
I want someone who can admit they were not good.
I want someone who will take pride in me and my accomplishments as a human.
I want someone who will not think of me as a sex object but a person with real feelings.
I want someone who can't deny their feelings for me.
I want someone who will travel with me.
I want someone who wont be afraid to go to shopping with me.
I want someone who can sit through a movie and not make out with me.
I want someone who will know that I am not in a good mood by how my voice sounds and my body language.
I want someone who is willing to get to know the real me and wait for however long that may take.
I want someone who is full of faults yet can laugh at them.
I want someone who will give up their jacket for me no matter how cold they may be.
I want someone who knows how long I take to get ready and expects it.
I want someone who I can write red hearts on their hands.
I want someone who will listen when I talk and babble.
I want someone who can take a complement and give them.
I want someone who is willing to let me fall asleep in their arms when I am tired.
I want someone who will surprise me. Even if I tell him I hate them.
I want someone to know sometimes its friends first boyfriends last.
I want him to know my family.
I want someone who knows how much my family means to me.
I want him to know how much my friends mean to me.
I want someone who knows how much he means to me.
I want him to be stupid with me.
I want someone who will be himself around me, care and love me.

๓ץ lเŦє...

I just want to fly away from here,
I want to give in to the wind,
And let it carry me where it may.
I don’t care what means it takes to do that.
I can’t stay here anymore.
I can’t be stuck in this chapter of my life anymore.
I need to be free.
One way or another,
I need to break the ties that bind.
Everything I do though,
Buries me deeper in.
I do what they tell me to do.
And as long as I follow their instruction,
I’ll never know what being free feels like,
What it tastes like.
I just want to find a place,
Where I can finally know peace.
I want to be in a world where I’m loved,
And not the conditional kind of love either.
I want to be loved without restriction.
I want to know what it feels like to be loved just because,
And not love that tries to control my life.
Life isn’t meant to be tamed,
It isn’t meant to be controlled.
It’s meant to be lived,
Wild and uninhibited.
And yet I find myself allowing myself to be stuck,
Stuck in rule and control.
How can I break free of this life long habit?
Where is that place where I don’t have to keep crying when no one’s looking?
Where is that place that accepts me completely,
And allows me just to be.
All the escapes I’ve tried haven’t worked.
Will anything ever work?
Have I doomed myself to a life of misery?
I’m afraid I have.
This is all my fault.
Just like everything else.
I try to persuade myself that this can be that place.
I try to pretend I don’t need anything else.
And I can keep up that visage to everyone else,
But I can’t fool myself anymore.
God why?
Why can’t I just settle for things the way they are?
I already blew the chances of getting away I think.
I blew them back before I even knew what those chances were.
I sealed my own fate,
All for a monetary substitute for happiness.
Will I have to pretend this is enough forever?
Will I ever be able to put down the mask,
And finally be what I’ve always portrayed?
I think I’m forever stuck here.
And it breaks my heart.
If you can call what I have a heart.
Here goes another night of tears,
Preparing for another day of fake smiles.
Empty guarantees that nothing’s wrong.
Don’t worry.
Everything’s just fine.